It was 9pm on a Saturday, 9/6/08. Jocelyn and I were wearing dresses, not caring one bit how they clashed with our beloved raincoats. 9/10 times a car drove by, piropos (flirtatious wolf whistle) ensued. Ecuadorian piropos take many shapes and forms: the common wolf whistle, the serpent hiss, the sticky lip smack, and occasionally the "chi-chi" (hint: meaning is derived from the tunnel through which we were conceived). We were used to this by now. Today, however, we were pretty much asking for it. Picture una Gringa and una China, in Cheojijon, plopped on the side of a street with bare legs, downing 40oz Pilseners, with an over-eager cow that could probably be heard 5 miles away.
Let's rewind 3 hours.
6pm: Jocelyn and I attended church in Tena to get to know some community members more personally and introduce the possibility of starting a woman's exercise and English class program. Church is a great starting point to recruit participants to programs as well as to expose yourself in a safe social environment...that is, unless you go to an Evangelical Christian Church. Two important lessons:
1) When the Evangelical pastor asks if you believe in God, you don't respond with "I'm agnostic." That doesn't work very well. Oh Dios Mio that will get you in trouble here.
2) There isn't really an Ecuadorian Spanish word for "awkward." Without giving Jos and I previous warning, the pastor, Francisco Haro, asked us to speak in front of about 80 church members on stage, under the "house of God," about ourselves, our purpose here, MPI, etc. I tried walking as slowly as possible up the stage to try and formulate some sort of elevator speech on the spot; however, Jos's 5 foot 9 stature did not allow this to happen (we call her "piernas", or legs, for a reason). This is when being un-fluent in Spanish comes in handy, because then you're not expected to talk fluidly in awkward improvisational situations such as this. I took full advantage of this, aka adding a couple words here and there as Jocelyn gave the general schpiel about our organization. Good news is, there is definite interest in a woman's exercise program as well as English classes. So that will be in the works. Stay tuned for upcoming details...
Everyone at the church did welcome us (children of God) with open arms, and really appreciated what we were trying to do.
After our arms almost fell off "levantar'ing los manos" during 20 minutes of singing songs about our love for God, we were invited to one of the community leader's homes (Bertha), and met the entire family (who also formed the band at the church). Jocelyn and I were bombarded with questions (some religious) that Bertha insisted upon us. Inevitably, I was asked if I knew kung-fu (accompanied with imitating arm movements) immediately after they found out I was Chinese. This would subsequently occur 2 more times (two of them from the same person). Before we left, Bertha kindly read us a Bible verse about how we should close our eyes and ask for Dios whenever we are feeling sad or afraid, and He will save us. I won't go into details of our conversation in that house, but I can tell you three words sum it all up: AWKWARD AS HELL (God forgive me).
The bus ride home was another story. I learned that you should trust your instincts over an Ecuadorian’s words (yes, even my spatial orientation instincts).
Bus personnel: “Si suba suba!” (Yes, come up come up)
30 minutes later (after we paid), we realize this bus is going a different route.
Me to bus personnel (in Spanish): “Uhhh, is this bus going to Conocoto?”
Bus personnel: “No, a Amaguaña.”
Me, turning to Jocelyn: "F@%#. Not again."
Bus screeches to a stop in the darkness. "Baja baja!" (get off)
Great. Pepper spray in pocket. Closes eyes and asks for Dios.
After walking about 15-20 min in complete darkness, we finally find a small venta that is opened, and ask where we can catch another bus or get a taxi. Apparently we were going the opposite direction of Conocoto. We were literally in the middle of nowhere. After a few failed attempts at calling a taxi, we finally got in contact with one, which arrives almost an hour after. That’s when we decided it was a good idea to get a couple beers to make the time go a bit faster.
Thank God for Pilseners.
