Cold turkey

That's about how I got over my fear of public speaking: get in front of 100s of Ecuadorian Evangelical Christians on a holy Sunday morning and speak in your 3rd language about how you didn't want to offend them for using their space for woman's exercise.

From what I can remember, it went something like this:

"Buenos días a todos!

Muchas gracias por dejarme hablar con ustedes esta mañana. Primer, por favor disculpe mi español, todavía estoy aprendiendo. Para esos de ustedes que no me conocen, me llamo Serena de la fundación MPI, y soy una de las profes de las clases de ejercicios para las damas.

Me informó de la situación sobre usar esta iglesia para las clases de ejercicios y inglés, y quiero decirles personalmente que nunca era nuestra intención ofenderles o la iglesia. Tenemos mucho respeto para ustedes, para la iglesia, para Dios, etc. Les agradezco mucho por abrir las puertas a nosotros. Espero que sigamos trabajando juntos y que nuestras relaciones se aumenten favorablemente.

Entonces, para esas de ustedes que todavía tienen interés en participar en las clases de ejercicios, vamos a tenerlas en la casa barrial en SF, lo mismo tiempo (Lunes, Martes, Jueves 6-7pm). Quiero decirles que todos de ustedes siempre están invitados a nuestros programas..."

Translated:

"Good morning everyone,

Thank you very much for letting me speak with you this morning. First of all, please excuse my Spanish, I'm still learning. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Serena from the foundation Manna Project International, and I'm also one of the instructors for woman's exercise class.

I was informed of the situation about using the church for exercise and English class, and I want to personally tell you all that it was never our intention to offend you or the church. We have much respect for you, for the church, for God, etc. I appreciate you all for opening your doors for us. I hope we can continue working together and that our relationship continues to grow positively.

So, for those of you who still have interest in participating in woman's exercise class, we're going to have it at the Casa Barrial in San Francisco, same time (Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday 6-7pm). I want to let you know that all of you are always invited to our programs..."

From my interpretation, it was well received. Relationship...saved! Next church por favor.

SB Iowa 2009!!!!!!!!!

Week 3: Iowa med students.

Sunday 3/15

Less than 12 hours after Iowa set foot upon Ecuadorian soil, we learned how to massacre live chickens. And as bloody and unappetizing the process might have been (eg, hand-squeezing fresh feces out from the large intestines), the end result was vale la pena (worth the pain). Pepita, Mayra, Francisco, and Julio (one of our favorite Ecuadorian families) were experts in this field. Needless to say, this was a perfect skill to learn with med students! I wish I did this before anatomy class... Details aside, I think these pictures will be sufficient.


Taj tries his hand...may have to work on this a little. Going to chicken hell.


Anatomy lesson


Pobrecito gallinos


Iowa + Pepita, Mayra, Francisco, Julio and family

Iowa, Holly and I then got opendhandsdirtyfeet, cleaning up the cancha from last night's library/teen center inauguration (Pilseners and $1 boxed wine, anyone?), before enjoying a local soccer game from the patio of our new space.

We ended the day after a relatively more conspicuous visit to Sangolqui markets, haggling with success to some extent (it's harder to fool the Ecuadorians with 11 Gringos flashing hi-fi photos in their faces). So far so good. Everyone is alive and kicking.

Monday and Tuesday 3/16-17

Iowa split up into 3 different groups in the morning, with each group going to:
-Alinambi (to measure kids for our Positive Deviance-based nutrition pilot- more to come on this!)
-Waldos clinic/Sangolqui hospital
-Ministry of Public Health of Conocoto

Some highlights:
-Julie and Brett watching a woman get her tubes tied
-Spontaneously turning the MoH emergency room into a full-out salsa/reggaeton dance club; patients walking in witnessing the doctor grinding up on the nurse(s) (pictures to come)
-Dan screwing up his feces sample. Rosanna the nurse at Waldos laughing at his liquid-soaked sample.
-Amanda, Taj, Ryan, and Brett basically running the ER at Sangolqui hospital (via body language and me translating) due to shortage of doctors... including suturing a black-out old man's head (yes, during the middle of the day), building a "nose bridge" for a man with a broken nose (who doesn't remember breaking it bc, surprisingly, he got drunk during lunch last Sunday), stabilizing two teenagers who just got into a fatal motorcycle accident, etcetcetc.


University of Iowa med students and their 133 boxes of gloves they generously donated!!
(From left to right): Matt, Serena (MPI co-leader), Alex, Brett, Julie, Collin, Dan, Amanda, Taj, Anna, Ryan, Seth (MPI co-leader)

Wednesday 3/18

Spent the day doing touristy stuff, including climbing the breathtaking Basilica, walking through Quito's Old Town, and visiting la Capilla del Hombre- the museum of Guayasamin. I think us Program Directors need to keep reminding ourselves just how amazing this country is, as we have lived here long enough to feel relatively desensitized. Watching the reactions of Iowa and the other spring break groups- served as a constant reality check, telling us not to take this place for granted.


Iowa at the top of the Basilica

Thursday 3/19

Summited Pichincha- the 3rd highest mountain in Ecuador (4600m). Our lungs definitely got their workout today. Lesson of the day: EAT FOOD before attempting to ascend a 300m. Waterproof gloves are also nice.

Friday and Saturday 3/20-21

Weekend excursion to Banos! I don't think any of us could ever get sick of Banos. Rejuvenating massages, hot springs, majestic waterfalls, exotic birds... we could get used to this.

Iowa went on the infamous bike ride to the waterfalls, which is always an exhilarating experience, despite some mishaps on the way (Amanda's flat tire, dog biting Anna's leg). By the end of the trip, despite the exhaustion, we were all regretful the trip was coming to an end.

Sunday 3/22

Thanks Iowa for picking the earliest possible time to leave Quito (6:40am) ha. Ryan, Brett, Anna and I strutted it out and kept our lids up till 3:30am, spending a romantic night together by the fire roasting cinnamon-chocolate-bananas, and watching Aladdin.

Miss you Iowa. Vengan a Ecuador prontisimo!!!!!!!

Fictional Vampires FML

I apologize for my lack of updates lately. But for those of you who are already on the damn-you-Edward-for-threatening-my-sanity bandwagon, you will understand why I have been procrastinating. I blame it on Holly and Jocelyn. ugh bite me

No worries. I'll probably finish the series this week, as it took me 4 days to finish the first two. Exciting updates on spring break, our new library/teen center/office space inauguration, woman's exercise (please pray for the 300 pound woman that just inscribed in our class this week), and Positive Deviance nutrition program to come soon!!!!

Now back to living vicariously through Bella...

Border Patrol Nightmare.

As I am writing this, I have to keep reminding myself to calm down, tranquilo, so my cortisol levels don't skyrocket and fracture my immunity.

My family was suppose to visit me this week, March 1st - March 7th. They purchased their tickets Jan. 19th. They are not here right now. What has happened in the last 72 hours, has probably been one of the worst Zhou-Wang family disasters in a long, long time:

Sat. night, 2/28: day before family leaves for Ecuador
-Mom and my sister Margaret hear a blood-curdling scream upstairs. Dad finds out Margaret's passport has been expired...since 2007.
-Call airlines, passport agencies, etc. All answering machines.
-Their flight leaves at 2pm tmrw from Atlanta (over 2 hours away from where they live)

Sun. 3/1
-Decide to try anyway. Huge snowstorm in the Carolinas and in Georgia.
-As expected, Margaret can't get on flight. Dad stays behind with her, and starts the grueling, dangerous drive back to Greenville, SC. Takes them 7 hours...almost got into multiple accidents. Couldn't see over 3 feet in front of them.
-Mom's flight to Miami delayed for 5 hours; misses connecting flight to Quito. Stays in Miami for the night (expense out-of-pocket, even though it's AA's fault).

Mon. 3/2
-Mom finally gets on flight to Quito! Arrives around 8pm. I drop my stuff off at hotel (now down to a reservation for 2) then go to airport to pick her up. I wait, wait, and wait. Watch everyone else around me hug their loved ones. I'm getting more and more excited.... But, Mom never comes out. Then, a customs lady beckons me to come in, asking if I was "Serena Zhou." Uh-oh.
-La policia tells me: "Su madre no puede entrar el pais." (Your mother cannot enter the country)
-Me: "QUE?!?!? Porque?! Que paso?!" (What?!?!!? Why?! What happened?!)
-La policia: "No tiene un sello en su pasaporte..." (She doesn't have a stamp in her passport.)

To summarize what happened:
My mom has a Chinese passport, but has a US permanent residence green card. (My dad and sister both have US passports). When my family bought the tickets to Ecuador, there was no law that stated Chinese citizens (with or without green card) needed a visa to enter for up to 90 days. My mom was only going to be here for 4 days. After calling and e-mailing the US and Ecuador embassies, both told me she did NOT need a visa. This was Jan. 23rd.
About a week later, Ecuador changed their immigration laws. ALL Chinese citizens (and ONLY Chinese citizens) need to obtain a T-9 stamp/tourist visa in order to enter Ecuador. Thus, we were not informed about this change. American Airlines did not even know about this, and let her on the plane to Quito.

-Mark came to help out, and we got an American diplomat on the phone to talk to customs, but there was nothing we could do about the law. There was nothing we could have done to know about this sudden law change. None of the US websites even had this update yet!!!
-My mom was such a good sport. She kept her cool, didn't make any scenes, and just sat there smiling and being polite. I was so proud of her. I don't think I've been this frustrated for decades. I felt so helpless. Finally, I had to let her go. I gave her one last hug, using all my mental power to keep my eyes as dry as possible, though I failed to some extent.

They put her up in a CELL at the airport for the night. Locked up from the inside. (funny story about this later). I had to pay 50$ just to stay with her, which was kind of ridiculous to have to pay to be put up in a cell, and this was the last place I wanted to financially support. Mama pleaded that I go back, so I finally resisted and went back to the hotel that we were supposed to stay together in. (Now down to reservation for 1)
Livid. Wishing my mami was with me. Poor Mama...

Tues. 3/3
-Seth and I go to the Chinese consulate- everyone is at a meeting, so we couldn't meet with them. Seth and I call airport immigration all morning, everyone tells us different things: no, that person is not here, no she is still here, no she's not in our records... Drove us crazy. Finally, after about 5-6 attempts, I got through to a woman who confirmed my mom left on an early flight back to Miami. At least she got out of the country and back to the US safely...
Ahhhh que horror!!! What a nightmare....

What we've learned? Um...don't trust the Ecuadorian law system, especially if you're of Chinese nationality. Laws change here as often as you'd change a baby's diaper.


*What my mother told me later*
While she was being detained, the security guard watching her asked if he could use the toilet inside. He came in to use it, then afterward, the idiot realized he locked himself in, and he had the only set of keys. So now, my non-Spanish speaking mother is stuck with this non-English speaking security guard, who is yelling and banging on the door trying to get someone's attention at 4 in the morning. She suggests he try to yell out this tiny window, and helps to hoist him up. Always the good Samaritan, my mama. Security guard yells more. No one answers. An hour later, someone finally comes, and he throws his keys through the window to finally un-lock himself and my mother out.

En serio?!?!?!

Vignette of the day

Feb. 2, 2009, 3:05pm. Sunny and clear skies, but clouds rolling in at a distance.

Casa barrial, San Francisco. Sitting on curb next to the door, looking towards antiquated playground. Smells like rotting cow dung.

David: cute chubby boy with dark grey t-shirt, dark blue sweat pants. Always sweating profusely. Pulls down Mateo's light blue sweat pants down to his black suede shoes on top of the slide. Mateo screams, as Wendy (5-year old matriarch) slides down the slide, while Jeremy and Carlos climb the ladder up to the top of the slide. Holly yells at David. Dylan sits inside the mini-church to the left of the playground, listening to my ipod and singing along (or attempting) to "Thriller."

Ummm....OUCH.

Every Wed. morning, I shadow at a small "Diagnostic Center" called Waldos, where an American doctor, Dr. Lance Evans, works with his Ecuadorian wife Rosie, the lab technician, along with Freddy the radiologist, Rosanna the nurse/physician/lab assistant, and Dr. Hidalgo the surgeon.

Last Wed., I learned how to manually conduct a urinary ($2), feces ($2), and blood analysis ($4). Probably not the most olfactory-pleasing procedure I've done during my time here. (Toothpicks are more versatile than you might think...)

This morning, I was invited to come in to watch some sort of "finger surgery." Boy was I in for a surprise.

A man (let's call him Eduardo. Ed for shorts) in a yellow T and baggy dark blue sweat pants sits in the waiting room with a dejected look on his face. He comes into the "operating" room with Rosanna and Dr. Hidalgo. Oddly, his fingers look fine.

To my surprise, Rosanna takes off Ed's pants, who happens to be wearing a large diaper. There is a 10 inch vertical scar below his belly button. Then, this clear plastic material sticking out from the left side of his lower stomach catches my eye. It's a catheter, 3/4 filled with brown substances resembling the stuff I poke around with a toothpick on Wednesdays. What kind of "finger surgery" requires you to defecate into a plastic bag?

Rosanna takes off Ed's diaper. %&@*#*%!!!!!!!!

I proceed to gag, internally. I now understand why Ed needs a catheter. He has no anus. Instead, there are three large skin ruptures where his anus should have been. It literally looks like it has been ripped apart by a wild animal. The skin is shredded, and all I can see are the fatty tissue covered with blood. I have a pretty clear view, being just about two feet away. I clench my pelvic muscles and regain my composure.

The Doctor showed me pictures of how Ed's anal region had looked like before. I'm not sure how this was possible, but it had been 10x worse. Apparently, his condition now is great compared to before. In the picture, the holes were 3x as large, and instead of blood, there was just gushing pus. This poor, poor man.

Dr. Hidalgo sprays some cleansing liquid into the open wound, then puts a minuscule amount of anesthetic locally into one of the smaller holes. Ed never stops flinching throughout the entire procedure. I want to hold his hands but my feet are glued to the wooden floor. The clear thread turns bright red. The engine of the lawn mower starts running outside. The amount of blood is overwhelming. Ummm...OUCH.

After the smaller hole is finally stitched, I help Ed put his diaper back on, and tell him he's a brave, brave man. He has been through enough for a day, if not for a lifetime. And I'm here complaining about an inflamed tendon.... No matter how much pain I'm in, it can't top this.

I find out after that Ed had an abscess, or localized buildup of pus due to a bacterial infection, and had surgery in the coast. However, the surgery actually spread the infection even more, making it worse. Ed almost didn't make it. He was then brought to Quito to have additional surgery, which were fortunately more successful. The secret: the surgeons left the wound opened the 2nd time around, letting the wound breath to prevent anaerobic bacteria from multiplying. So the good news is, Ed is expected to have a full recovery in the future! Buena suerte, Ed!

In the meantime, I will be anxiously anticipating my next "finger surgery"....!!

Some over-typical questions

Questions I get asked by 99% of the people I meet, in no particular order (sometimes by the same people):

(E = Ecuadorian; M = Me)

1. So I learn, you are either single, or married. There is no in-between.

E: Estas soltera? (Are you single?)
M: No, tengo un novio. (No, I have a boyfriend.)
E: Oh, Ecuadoriano? (Oh, Ecuadorian?)
M: No, de los Estados Unidos. (No, from the US.)
E: Oh ok, estas casada? (Are you married?)
M: No.
E (confused): Entonces, estas soltera. (So, you are single.)
M: No...tengo un novio en los EEUU. (No...I have a boyfriend in the US.)
E: Te gustan los Ecuadorianos? (Do you like Ecuadorian boys?)
M: Uh...Si, pero... (Yes, but...)
E (cuts me off): Te presento Ecuadorianos muy buenos. (I'll introduce good Ecuadorian boys to you).
M: Uhhh....
E (getting excited): Vas a casarte aqui en Ecuador? (Are you going to get married in Ecuador?)
M: Noooo...
E: ...con un Ecuadoriano?! (with an Ecuadorian?!)
M (feeling awkward): Noooo.... no estoy soltera.... (Noooo... I'm not single.)
*Conversation starts over from the beginning*

2. No, not all Chinese people know karate.

E: Eres de China? (Are you from China?)
M: Si. (Yes.)
E: Hablas china? (Do you speak Chinese?)
M: Si. (Yes.)
E (asks me to say something in Chinese...)
M (says something in Chinese)
E ("woooow"): Conoces karate? (Do you know karate?)

3. Some things never change.

E: Cuantos anos tienes? (How old are you?)
M: Que piensas? (What do you think?)
E: Hmmm....15.